Deidre Daily Drama: I want to be more than a 'friend with benefits ...

I HAVE put everything I?ve worked for ? house, family, and a good job - at risk by having an affair with a girl at work. Now she?s pregnant the sky is falling in on me.

I am 34, been with my long-term partner for eight years and we have a three-year-old daughter. We have worked hard and own a beautiful house, and she?s a stay-at-home mum until our daughter goes to school.

My problems all began with a drunken kiss at a work do earlier this year. There has always been a spark between us and we began texting at work. The texts got steamier and steamier and it led to me booking a hotel room so we could have sex.

I ordered champagne in the room and the sex was like something in a video ? so hot.

I didn?t use a condom as she said she was on the pill and a recent health check was clear. We couldn?t help ourselves and had sex again two days later when we bumped into one another on separate nights out. Then I came to my senses and backed off.

A few weeks after that she came to me and said she was pregnant. The dates matched our times and she says she didn?t have sex with her boyfriend until she was already pregnant.

She wants to keep the baby, which I am not best pleased about but I have to respect her decision.

If my partner finds out she will be devastated and I don?t want to miss out on our daughter growing up. And I could lose my job over this.

But the new woman has fallen in love with me and wants me to be part of the new baby?s life. I was going to end it but now she?s pregnant I keep going back for more.

I am not a bad person but I have a male ego and it?s fantastic to have someone so attractive want me so much. I just want to keep it secret as long as possible.

I hate myself but, now there?s a baby, I can?t end it because I make her so happy.

DEIDRE SAYS

You only have her word that she didn?t have sex with her boyfriend around the time she conceived. She may be hot but you two barely have a relationship. Do you think it?s going to work with a demanding baby on the scene and you may be out of a job?

Doesn?t sound so romantic, does it? And you?d have a heartbroken daughter and her mother.

Of course it?s up to this young woman how she handles the pregnancy but the sensible response is to tell her you?ll insist on DNA tests once the baby is born and can?t be at all sure you two would work if you got together. Plus her boyfriend is going to play a part in all this. He may feel pretty sure it is his baby.

Suggest you at least take a break while you try to strengthen your relationship with your partner, and she looks at her relationship with her boyfriend and has counselling for this unplanned pregnancy. You both need to get more realistic.

I?m sending you my leaflets Torn Between Two Women? and Unplanned Pregnancy? to help you both think this through.

Could you forgive your partner having a baby by someone else? Tell me on my Facebook page today.

Source: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/deidre/4563034/Deidre-Daily-Drama-I-want-to-be-more-than-a-friend-with-benefits.html

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